I am now down to 6 smokes a day... and I'm finding it mostly ok but getting harder... I have to be really conscious of rationing them for the Must Smoke Now times in my day. I'm also getting more cranky. I'm blaming it on withdrawals... may not be the culprit but it'll do for blaming. The hospital has a program to help staff members quit smoking, so I made an appointment last week and now I have a months supply of Nicotine gum for free... which is helping a bit with making me less of a cranky bitch... and if one months supply is not enough, I can get an ongoing supply from the hospital pharmacy at cost price... woo...

The gum is not lovely, it tastes nice for about 5 seconds, and then it's less pleasant... but really, cigarettes didn't taste so good when I started in on them either... it's also annoying because it takes a while for the nicotine to hit your system, so I have to try and anticipate when I'm going to be REALLY craving a cigarette and have a piece of gum about half an hour before... Pfffftttt... yeah right. Coz I'm soooooo good at delayed gratification. Also, you can't just chew it like normal chewie, you have to chew it till you can taste the nicotine, then park it in your cheek, and when the flavour subsides, give it another brief chew and park it again, and so on until all the flavour is gone...

I'm putting leftover cigarette money in my ink pig... i have decided on next ink, i have the design printed and ready to take to tattooist... new ink in the next few weeks i think.

also... 6 more days of work till i am on holidays... 10 days till i'm in Tassie. Fuck yeah holiday!!!!
quiregrrl: (Icky Things)
Someone I love dearly is currently going through the painful ordeal of a family member in the terminal stages of lung cancer, and the suffering ripples through everyone connected.

I hate that this person I love has to watch someone they care about die, and I don't ever want to be the cause of that pain for anyone I care about if I can help it.

I need to quit smoking... not eventually, but now. No more excuses. I don't think I'd cope with cold turkey right away, but I have made a promise to quit completely by mid December.

I'm putting it here so that everyone can hold me accountable. I have now smoked for more than half of my life, I have spent tens of thousands of dollars on cigarettes, and I have failed at quitting more times than I can count. I will not fail this time, but I may need help... please don't offer me cigarettes if you're a smoker, please don't replace any of my cigarettes that you smoke, please hold my hand if you see me flailing in social situations, please remind me that I have a promise to keep if you see me lighting up, please forgive me if my withdrawals impact on you... i will do my best to not let that happen but I can't promise I will always be rational.

I have 10 weeks to cut down and quit smoking completely. I will do this.

ETA: I can't do patches (allergic to sticky things on my skin), I really don't believe I'd survive Champex, I will investigate nicotine gum as a means of relieving the withdrawal symptoms and making it a bit easier....



April 2014



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