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my new favorite giggle-worthy blog...
Sleep Talkin' Man
"Skipping to work makes everything better."
"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."
"I'd rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that's just my opinion. Don't take it personally."
"Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."
"Badger tickling: proceed with caution"
"Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for.... done for."
"I don't want to die! I love sex. And furry animals."
"Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack. Goddamnit."
"I don't want to watch. I want to get my hands dirty, all the way up to my shoulder. Filthy."
"I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"
"I'd like to tell you what a wonderful person you are. But that would make me a septic gash of a cunt who quite frankly had no concept of right or wrong."
"It's definitely time to get up. Yes. My dog needs a new tutu."
"I love the fact you're a moose. Yes. So soft, so soft."
"Yeah, you lay down, I'll get the tennis racket."
Sleep Talkin' Man
"Skipping to work makes everything better."
"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."
"I'd rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that's just my opinion. Don't take it personally."
"Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."
"Badger tickling: proceed with caution"
"Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for.... done for."
"I don't want to die! I love sex. And furry animals."
"Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack. Goddamnit."
"I don't want to watch. I want to get my hands dirty, all the way up to my shoulder. Filthy."
"I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"
"I'd like to tell you what a wonderful person you are. But that would make me a septic gash of a cunt who quite frankly had no concept of right or wrong."
"It's definitely time to get up. Yes. My dog needs a new tutu."
"I love the fact you're a moose. Yes. So soft, so soft."
"Yeah, you lay down, I'll get the tennis racket."