Ummmm...

[quiregrrl]

So... it seems I have a part-time Sir :)

This is kind of strange and unusual... good, and happy-making... but strange and unusual for me.

It's no secret that my last relationship left me a bit broken... ok, a lot broken... friends on my close filter know that even a couple of months ago I was having massive angst about trust, about ever letting anyone else close, about sex, about well... relationships. Those issues haven't gone away, but I need to start letting go of them.

A month or so ago, a boy of my acquaintance told me that the days of me being toppy with him were over... and he indicated that he might want to explore his own toppy side with me, and maybe we could have a conversation about that...

We finally had that conversation this evening. Seriously, one of the best conversations of my life. Every relationship I have ever had has started by accident... a matter of hormones, lust and sex which has led to falling in love and calling it a relationship... or worse, lust and sex which I have then needed to justify to myself by telling myself it's love and forcing a relationship where it shouldn't have been... Don't get me wrong, some of those relationships have been wonderful, some of them haven't been, each of them has been valuable in some way. I love the falling in love, the passion that consumes and takes over your life, it's the best kind of madness. Until it's not. Right now, I have enough of my own madness, I don't need that madness as well. But I miss having someone special, I miss being part of a D/s dynamic, I miss sex.

So.. I sat down tonight with a friend, someone I like and respect, someone I care about very much, someone I have fun and laugh with, someone I enjoy playing and flirting with... and we negotiated a relationship, with clear heads, and blunt honesty. As I said above, it was one of the best conversations of my life... for the honesty, for the rationality, for the way we were so on the same page for so many things... things I was worried about saying, thing that he was worried about saying, but we said them and discovered we were on the same page of the same book at the same time...

Now we get to embark, clear-headed, on an adventure together. A chance for him to explore his newly discovered toppishness, a chance for me to heal some of the wounds inflicted by a careless person, with someone who is safe, in a way that is safe.

It feels very strange to have had "The Conversation" before anything else has happened, but I'm very happy about where this is, and what lies ahead. There are still some nitty-gritty's to be discussed, and some things to figure out, but I'm optimistic :)

Comments

[boy2daddysin.livejournal.com]

I think you are off to a great start. Daddy and I had similar hard talks in the 8 long months before we became real time 24/7. I had not been hurt the way you had but past relationships left scars that we are still dealing with for both of us. We took the time to talk things out from the get go and almost 10 years later while I am still far from perfect, I am a much more whole person and while some of that comes with age, a lot more of it has to do with being with a true Domme who knows me better than I know myself and works tirelessly to bring out the best in me.

I truly wish you only the best in this new relationship dynamic.

[quiregrrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much :)

[fluffydescent.livejournal.com]

*claps*

Yay for Tam! This is awesome!


So the Yes thing is working then... *grin*

[quiregrrl.livejournal.com]

it would seem so :)

Mind... speaking of conversations... SOMEONE I'm close to had a conversation with someone he's close to a whole week ago it seems... *ahem* not mentioning names...

xoxo

[fluffydescent.livejournal.com]

Well, we were just trying to see the lay of the land... so to speak... *grins*

[quiregrrl.livejournal.com]

LOL... well thanks for the nudging :)

[info-pimp.livejournal.com]

Yay! How much fun!
Those can be the best conversations ever.
Am so happy for you.

Was just talking with a friend the other day about this, and we agreed that the clear-headed adventures are often the dirtiest and most delicious. I hope this holds true for you as well. Have an awesome time gorgeous.
xx

[quiregrrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweety :) it's a new kind of adventure, but that is a very good thing I think...

[smooth-leather.livejournal.com]

Very happy for you. Looking forward to reading more....

[quiregrrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks Sin... I'm looking forward to having more to write :)

[kittenwidawhip.livejournal.com]

So Happy for you darling.
It's funny I had a random thought about you on sat. and i've not been on LJ in Months- and thought today i would have a peek, and see how you are doing...and then to find this entry made me really smile.

I'm happy you are healing. First steps are always the hardest.

Sending lots of love your way.
R
x

[quiregrrl.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweety... we'll see how it goes... it's a bit of experiment for both of us :)

Hope things are good with you too xo

[kittenwidawhip.livejournal.com]

Things are all good at my end. Bec and I are settling into new home owners nicely. It was weird being able to drill holes in walls on the weekend without getting in trouble fro the landlord!! hehehe
gotta love a power tool!! :)

xx

[somuch-shouting.livejournal.com]

yay for tam,
you are such an amazing beautiful sexy woman.
And you most definately deserve all life has to offer.
huge bug smooches to you,
hope to see you real soon you foxy thing

[quiregrrl.livejournal.com]

Awwwww thank you so much darling girl... you are all kinds of sexy and amazing and beautiful yourself... as well as just lovely *big hugs and smooches* see you very soon xoxoxo