Writer's Block: Bah Humbug Day!
Dec. 22nd, 2011 04:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quiregrrlI fucking hate this time of year... HATE. It's the worst time of year for my job, the week leading up to xmess is without fail fucking hideous, the demand on our services goes up dramatically and in response our clinicians reduce services available, and because I answer 95% of the phone referrals and inquiries I get to be the one telling 2 out of 3 people that they're not going to be getting a nurse, or a psychiatrist, or physio, or counselor... I've been at work an hour today and already I've had to tell a crying woman wanting counselling related to domestic violence that we can't help her until after the 9th of January. She's at a friends house, bruised and scared and crying, and reaching out for help and i get to be the asshole who says "sorry, it's christmas, we can't help you". Merry Fucking Christmas. I gave her phone numbers for shelters, and other counselling services, but the chances are that they're going to be fully booked and unavailable as well.
Meanwhile everyone in the office is getting into the "spirit of christmas", our desks are wrapped up like giant parcels, there are morning teas and afternoon teas at the drop of a hat, every chance to stand around and gossip and be loud and obnoxious is leapt upon with alarming alacrity, and every time I frantically windmill to signal that I'm the phone and they need to SHUT THE FUCK UP i get rolled eyes, not to mention the constant subtle (and not so subtle) bullying to join the festivities. I'm here to do my job, and the work of my colleagues as well apparently, I greatly resent being told I'm "ruining it" for everyone else by not joining in every fucking moment of standing around, sipping orange juice or cheap wine, and having the same stilted conversations about lunch with the in-laws and hoping the weather is nice on Sunday. Seriously? By staying at my desk and doing my job I'm ruining that otherwise scintillating social interaction?? I've managed to politely get out of most things so far by quite legitimately pointing out how busy the phone is and saying I'm happy to stay and answer it. My "manager" (chief social bully) decided we're going out for lunch today however and organised someone else to come answer the phones and take messages, so I "have no excuse to be antisocial". The level of personal anxiety i have around this is overwhelming. And I can think of at least 20 other excuses, and quite a few valid reasons, to be antisocial.
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and in the way of work vs LJ, it's now 4:30pm, lunch is over and I survived it but it's still really busy, and ... yeah... i know i sound like a whiny whinger and i need a spoonful of concrete but it's just... i don't love this time of year anyway, i'm not sleeping well, so i'm not really at my emotional toughest (which, lets face it, is not very tough even at it's best), and so all that plus the brunt of work stuff has just been... wearing.
Less than an hour to go. So glad I managed to get tomorrow off. So so glad.
Meanwhile everyone in the office is getting into the "spirit of christmas", our desks are wrapped up like giant parcels, there are morning teas and afternoon teas at the drop of a hat, every chance to stand around and gossip and be loud and obnoxious is leapt upon with alarming alacrity, and every time I frantically windmill to signal that I'm the phone and they need to SHUT THE FUCK UP i get rolled eyes, not to mention the constant subtle (and not so subtle) bullying to join the festivities. I'm here to do my job, and the work of my colleagues as well apparently, I greatly resent being told I'm "ruining it" for everyone else by not joining in every fucking moment of standing around, sipping orange juice or cheap wine, and having the same stilted conversations about lunch with the in-laws and hoping the weather is nice on Sunday. Seriously? By staying at my desk and doing my job I'm ruining that otherwise scintillating social interaction?? I've managed to politely get out of most things so far by quite legitimately pointing out how busy the phone is and saying I'm happy to stay and answer it. My "manager" (chief social bully) decided we're going out for lunch today however and organised someone else to come answer the phones and take messages, so I "have no excuse to be antisocial". The level of personal anxiety i have around this is overwhelming. And I can think of at least 20 other excuses, and quite a few valid reasons, to be antisocial.
=======
and in the way of work vs LJ, it's now 4:30pm, lunch is over and I survived it but it's still really busy, and ... yeah... i know i sound like a whiny whinger and i need a spoonful of concrete but it's just... i don't love this time of year anyway, i'm not sleeping well, so i'm not really at my emotional toughest (which, lets face it, is not very tough even at it's best), and so all that plus the brunt of work stuff has just been... wearing.
Less than an hour to go. So glad I managed to get tomorrow off. So so glad.
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-22 06:21 am (UTC)COme be looked after tomorrow with me! I will give you hugs and vodka. And more hugs.
*hugs*
By the time you see this comment you will have escaped!
Date: 2011-12-22 06:59 am (UTC)Inconsiderate colleagues are inconsiderate and should be fired out of a trebuchet. Probably into a briar patch or something equally painful.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-22 08:06 am (UTC)